There are literally thousands of vending machines on the streets. Most of them sell beverages like water, Aquarius (kinda like a flavorless gatorade), Pocari Sweat (Yes, you read that correctly), and Calpis (yes it is pronounced just like what you're thinking). At the other end, you also have vending machines that sell cigarettes. What's great is that they have the number 18 with an international no symbol, and it freaking works!

Nobody under 18 buys them! Well, either that or the Japanese are really naive, and I like to think they're not. I had heard that if you're over 18, you get an id card which these vending machines scan, but I cannot verify that.

One of my friends here, in deciding to give me directions on how to get to his place, said the following. "Go over the bridge, Turn left at the vending machines and you'll be there." In Japan, what constitutes saying THE vending machines as opposed to A vending machine? Anywhere, he said the equivalent of "Go over the bridge, turn left when you see the piece of gum on the sidewalk, and you'll be there." What kind of landmark is that?

Going on. This country have some surprises though. I actually found a vending machine that sells candy (Pocky sticks. I don't really like them), and I found another that sold gum. (Didn't buy any of that either)

But the kicker is none other a vending machine that sells, you guessed it, alcohol. They took the beverages out and replaced it with alcohol.

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So, there has been a trend I've noticed. English is compulsory in the schools anyway, so you would think that everyone can speak a little English, even if they don't like it. But no, I get many stares around town from people who "don't" understand English.

But get 'em drunk and suddenly they're fluent. What's that? I've since started to carry around two bottles of sake and beer (not mixed together). Whenever I want to talk to someone, which happens often, I proffer the bottle and we can talk. It's a little interesting trying to buy things. Get the cashier drunk and she can't quite run the teller. So there is this delicate balance going on that I try to maintain.

Actually, it is simply this: the Japanese by nature are very shy and reserved. More out of a fear of making mistakes than anything else. And what better environment to make mistakes than to speak a language you were forced to learn to a native speaker. Suddenly, those years of schooling that you thought were unnecessary are now required, but you decided to not pay attention at the time.

With a great friend like alcohol, the Japanese are less afraid of making mistakes.

In fact, at company parties, you can literally tell off your boss, tell him he's an idiot TO HIS FACE, and everything will be fine because you're both getting drunk together. There are no hard feelings and nobody talks about these parties except at the next one. You can be totally crazy, justifying stories and gossip, but no one will talk about it the next day at work or whatever activity. What a country!

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Osaka is this town, kinda small. More like a village actually. I don't know why I was even there. People say it has a lot of cool things, but if you like one-horse towns, then yeah, it does have a lot of nice quaint little things. But if you're really interested in Osaka, it is huge. multiple subway lines, multiple everything. Getting there and getting back is really easy. Shinkansen into the an area around the city, JR (Japan Railway) Loop line around, then take a vast number of various lines to get where you want to go. Lot of lights, lot of underground stuff (I think Osaka was originally created by dwarves, for dwarves, and with dwarves). But really interesting in that Vegas type way.

Why I was There:

No reason.

Actually, an old friend of mine, Harvey, lives there now. Harvey is what is called a 高校友達 or a 高等学友達. In English, this is known as a high school friend. :) Harv and I went to high school together way back when and now miraculously, we live in the same country, about 2 hours away by bullet train. He came to visit me a month ago in Hamamatsu (浜松) or as he remembers it, Matsuyama. No I don't know where he got that from. As it turns out, I know a few people in Osaka. One of the sainted Five (of which Rachel and Beth are in, from the Tokyo Revisited section. More on who they are later.), Alaina lives not far from the station. Tiffany's brother, Tim, also lives there (more on who she is later, too. This is about Osaka, not the people I know elsewhere!). So needless to say, this weekend was quite hectic, trying to visit and see everyone in such a short time. I didn't take paid vacation or anything to do it, so I only had Friday night, Saturday, and half of Sunday until I had to get back.

Alaina is a good friend of mine, but unfortunately, we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. In fact, we didn't spend almost any time together at all. However, I'll see her again this weekend, so we'll be able to get caught up again. In fact, the only thing we had time for was to walk to the next station. I arrived into Osaka late, because I left after school and kendo.

Chika's Mother is amazing. Harvey and I walk into her house and there are all these crafts around. In fact, many of them looked like an old country motif in America! You Mid-Westerners know exactly what I'm talking about. That country look. Unfortunately, I did not take any pictures of her house. We went there to spend one night and Harvey and I were tired.

I walked into Universal Studios Japan on Saturday and I was confused as to where I was. Everything was Los Angeles. Of course, Angelinos know that Beverly Hills is not next to the airport, but who's checking? Harvey, Chika, Haruna, and I spent the whole day there, waiting in line for the next ride. We only got to do 5 rides, but I was okay. Spider-man was the new one and that was definitely worth the 160 minute wait.

After USJ, we went to Harv's friend, Yuko's place who was having a party. More of a gathering really. Nine people (of which Harvey and I were the only males. Go Harvey!) all gathered for a "traditional" Japanese meal, according to my translator Harvey.

An interesting food strictly from Okinawa. Only. It grows nowhere else. It is made nowhere else. Only in the southern part of Japan. You gotta click this link.

Sunday, Harvey's guitar sensei (teacher) had a concert. She's phenomenal. Apparently she's also really famous in Spain and France as well as Osaka. Harv is lucky to have found her for a teacher.

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Well, it had to happen sooner or later, right? The downside to my amazing life over here. The rest of the family gets together for a great time and I can only sit at my computer staring at pictures wishing I was there. Or actually, what I was doing was running through those pictures to see which ones I could use for my Thanksgiving lesson. Truth be told, I love them, but I'm glad I'm here. Not once have I regretted my experience (so far), and not once have I cowered in my Corridor, hoping it would all go away. Unlike California, where these holidays, if I had to work, I was miserable.

But that is mostly behind me now. I'm glad they had a good time, I wish I was there, but I can certainly deal with where I'm at now. :)

Across the Pacific Ocean, my family got to meet a man by the name of Lord Aragorn...I mean, Andreas. (sorry, I had to throw that in). That's the guy on the right. Fortunately for me, I already met him, and I can say without hyperbole, he's a cool guy. Calm and quiet, but when he does talk, it's usually something you want to pay attention to. There are people in this world who talk a lot, (ahem!) and he's a good compliment to that. Why do I speak of him? Well, I figure he deserves to hear my opinion!

As if that isn't enough, Sajo finally finished his basement. Been a long time coming and construction started just before I left for Japan. So it's done and looks impressive. I wish I could have been there to watch the Return of the King: Extended Edition, but I have my laptop with a 12" monitor and three speakers. But alas, 'tis not to be. Perhaps when I come back. (After all, they'll kick me out of the country sooner or later)

So this holiday was quite a big one. And I missed it.

However, I used many of the pictures of the food for my lesson. The kids enjoyed playing "Go Fish!" with a deck of cards with pictures of food on them. They practiced their table manners. "Please pass the ...", and "Here you are" or "Sorry, but I don't have it." It was quite successful, if not confusing for them. They weren't sure why they were doing what they did until I explained that Thanksgiving is about food and family. [wipes tearing eyes.]

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The Trauma: When I first arrived in Tokyo, I was more than a little zonked and tired out of my mind. Yet they made me go through this grueling orientation that lasted three days. All I wanted to do was simply sleep for a week. But they wouldn't let me. Quite literally, the very next day, we were on the go getting ready for this upcoming year. We also didn't get much of a chance to see Tokyo, so I was a little unnerved by the city itself anyway. So I wasn't too keen on visiting anyway.

Well, Rachel was planning a trip down to Tokyo for this day. Now, I haven't seen Rachel since we parted ways in Tokyo last time (cryptic, isn't it?), and she lives too far away to really visit her without allotting some time for it. I decided then to just make a quick day trip out of it (with a few days of vacation to recover). In the morning, we took a bus tour and saw three things relevant to Tokyo. The Tokyo Tower, the Imperial Palace (from a distance), and a temple. Then we went to a jewelry shop for a pearl demonstration. Wait, what? Did I really just write that? Yes, I did. Because pearls are so connected to the history of the Eastern Capital (Tokyo) and so vital, we had to stop at a jewelry store, where not only did we get to look at pearls of all shapes and colors, we also got to watch a demonstration of how they make pearls! Yeah!! Give an oyster an irritant and for protection, the oyster will put layers and layers of coating over the thing. Years later, we have a pearl. Poor oyster.

But it was quite good to see Rachel again. It was just like old times, whenever that was. After the tour, We met up with Beth and Katie and went to Tokyo Harbor. A pretty good day was had by all. Exhausting, though. I didn't realize how tired I was until I got home and just crashed. But money well spent, time well invested, friends well met.

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Classes were cancelled today. Instead, my school went to Act City (see pictures of Act City or if you know katakana, アクト―シーティー) and perform their musical talent.

So there I was, dressed in as close to a tuxedo as I can. The kids all freaked out when they saw me. "Oh, Sugu-sensei!" I heard all the time. Every few minutes, even after my presence had been established. These kids are great!

I also kept hearing, "Eto...(The Japanese equivalent of uh...) nekutai...kawaii! kaodachinoyoi! (necktie (because they didn't know bow-tie) cute and handsome, respectfully). And I would hear a hearty "sugoi!" (awesome!)

I was sitting in the back of the auditorium (see relevant pic 1) which means I got a great view of the stage, but many of the pictures were not in focus. However, you can see all the pictures (There are over 100) if you go to the Pictures section, or just click on the link at the left.

Back to the reason it was in the story section and not just the pictures. You'll notice in one of the pictures (more, if you can focus them) that there is someone who looks a lot like me in the front of a small adult choir. Hmmm. Who is that, I wonder? Yep, it's me. None other. So three days prior to this little shindig, I was told I had a choice. I could either sing this song in Japanese or I could conduct. I looked them squarely in the eye, no fear echoing in my voice. squared shoulders. "I don't think I belong here at all."

They said, "Oh, it will be fine. Everyone knows this song. It is an old famous Japanese song. Furusato means hometown. Everyone knows it. You can conduct right?" And one of the teachers started waving his hands to show me what he meant.

I looked at him and said evenly, fully bold and courageous. "Hell, no. I can't conduct! I don't even know the song. No, thank you. I will sing. I can learn the music. Don't make me do this!"

He did.

He had me do a few practice direction. I think I practiced a grand total of five minutes. But I noticed something interesting. This is for all the music people out there. Japanese conductors always make a triangle with their last three beats. So, in three/four time, the conductors draw a line from their top right to their bottom left. Crossing their body. Then for beat two, they go all the way over to the right side, flaring out. Then back up. In four/four time, they do the downstroke twice. American conductors have beat one always going down, then to the left, then right, then up. Interesting to note.

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Just when I thought I could get a handle on this teaching thing, they (the ubiquitous they) decided to shake things up a bit. Yippee. I was told at the end of October that "Oh, by the way, you will not be teaching at Kohnan. You will teach Sunaoka Elementary." Holy crap. What? I'm not good with kids! Everyone knows that! They sent me their lesson plans, and I was a little relieved until I opened it and read it. "Show a picture to explain Halloween"? Well, I guess I could scour the internet (internets, to some of you) to find a single picture to explain all of Halloween.

Later that week, (so 4 days to showtime) they call and decide to meet with me. Useful. But they also said in the phone conversation (to which I just nodded a lot and smiled. On the phone.) that I should wear a costume, maybe, perhaps, if I happened to have one. So, for anyone who doesn't know Japanese or Japanese people, "maybe" and "perhaps" mean "definitely" and "you should". Great. I now have to add shopping for some costume at the last minute. In the meeting I finally had, I asked what kind of costume they would like, hoping they wouldn't say it, but knowing that they fully would. "Wear something cute." I cringed internally. Not cute!

The Two Days of...I Can't Even Begin to Describe...

It was incredible. I had so much fun those two days. I couldn't stop grinning (except of course, when I was trying to be evil). I finally understand some of the games I've been playing with my junior high students. I taught them "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Oh, they were eager to play too. During recess, on a full stomach, I played a game with them that I still don't understand. Apparently, we ran around in a circle and it was fun. Just a group of boys running around in a circle, screaming and yelling. But it was definitely funny. Then the next day, I played a strange version of dodgeball.

There were two balls, and when someone got "out" or just hit with a ball, they had to go to the other team's territory. Ok, well that's all fine and good. But here's the weird part. THEY GET TO KEEP PLAYING! To make sure that everything is fair and kids feelings aren't hurt because they're "out", the game actively makes the kids better if they get hit! Once they get their hands on the ball, their much closer to the target. And if one team is lucky enough to have both balls at the same time (which happens), the poor team doesn't stand a chance.

So, they asked me to wear a costume. In the span of a weekend, I really couldn't find anything. So I went as a "cowboy". It's in quotes because I was a really crappy cowboy. The gun I had was futuristic, but it made noises and sparks, so the kids were happy. I guess you could say I was the bartender from the old West, but that takes a lot of explanation.

The kids were great. Phenomenal. It was so much fun. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Would I do long-term? No way in a stone's throw in hell that has been frozen over.

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